Children & families
Children notice far more than adults think. They might not understand the drinking, but they notice the rows, the broken promises, the mood changes, the missing money and the times when home does not feel safe.
What children notice They may not know why things are happening, but they usually know something is wrong.
Arguments and shouting.
Promises that are not kept.
A parent sleeping, disappearing or behaving differently.
Money problems or things being sold.
People making excuses for the person who drinks.
Other adults becoming anxious, angry or exhausted.
If you are worried about how much a child is seeing or carrying, you can speak to Children First for advice before things reach crisis point.
Children First support line — 08000 28 22 33 Call Children First — support for children and families across Scotland ↗They may try to ease the burden of their parents. Children can end up doing jobs that belong to adults.
A child should not bear the responsibilities of an adult. They are not responsible for making sure a drunken parent is safe or gets to bed. They are not responsible for supporting the other parent or looking after other siblings.
They should not have to manage an adult's drinking or feel responsible for keeping the family together.
If a child has started taking on adult responsibilities, tell the school or another trusted professional. In Scotland, a child's head teacher or senior teacher can often be the first person to help a family reach the right services.
GIRFEC — who families can ask for help through school or health services ↗What it can do to them Living with alcohol problems can affect children now but can also be carried into their adult life.
Anxiety or always being on edge.
Problems sleeping.
Difficulty concentrating at school.
Feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
Keeping secrets from friends or teachers.
Anger, withdrawal, insecurity, behavioural problems.
If a child is struggling emotionally, speak to their GP or school. If they need urgent mental health help and the GP is closed, phone NHS 24 on 111 and choose the mental health option.
NHS 24 Mental Health Hub — 111 Call Mental health support for children in Scotland ↗Do not make them keep secrets Children need at least one adult they can talk to honestly.
Children often learn very quickly not to tell anyone what happens at home. They may worry about getting the person who drinks into trouble or breaking up the family.
Let them know they are allowed to talk to a trusted adult. That could be a teacher, school guidance teacher, GP, health visitor, relative or another adult they trust.
A child or young person can also contact Childline themselves, free and confidentially.
Childline — 0800 1111 Call Childline — confidential help online ↗For teenagers affected by someone else's drinking, Alateen is part of Al-Anon and is for young people aged 12–17.
Alateen — support for 12–17 year olds affected by someone else's drinking ↗Keep them out of drunken situations Children should not be left to deal with an intoxicated adult.
Do not expect a child to calm someone down, stop an argument, take away alcohol or look after an adult who is drunk.
If someone has been drinking, do not let them drive children or put children in a situation where they are frightened or unsafe.
If a child is in immediate danger, phone 999. If there is a serious concern but no immediate emergency, you can contact Police Scotland on 101 or your local council's children and families/social work service.
Immediate danger — phone 999 Call Police Scotland — 101 when it is not an emergency Call Report a child protection concern or find your local council ↗ NSPCC Helpline — 0808 800 5000 for adults worried about a child CallKeep a child's life as steady as you can Routine matters when the rest of home life feels unpredictable.
Regular meals, school, bedtime, seeing friends and spending time with adults who are reliable can give children some stability even when the drinking has not stopped.
If the family needs help with school, behaviour, money, housing or general family support, Parent Club's Family Support Directory and Children First can help you find what is available locally.
Parent Club — Family Support Directory and practical help for families in Scotland ↗ Children First — local family services across Scotland ↗If money is part of the problem, Citizens Advice Scotland's Money Talk Team can help with benefits, debt and household costs.
Citizens Advice Scotland / Money Talk Team — 0800 028 1456 CallIf home is not safe Safety comes before protecting the person who drinks from embarrassment or consequences.
If there is violence, threats, dangerous driving, neglect or anything else putting a child at risk, get outside help. You do not have to keep the situation within the family.
Immediate danger — phone 999 Call Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline — 0800 027 1234, 24 hours Call Domestic abuse help, safety planning and housing advice ↗ Find your local council children and families/social work service ↗ Children First — 08000 28 22 33 CallHelp for the whole family You can ask for help even if the person who drinks refuses it.
If alcohol is affecting the family, Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs supports people across Scotland who are worried about someone else's drinking. Al-Anon is for relatives and friends, and Families of Alcohol Abuse offers information, personal stories and a community for people living with someone else's drinking.
Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs — 08080 10 10 11 Call Scottish Families — helpline, one-to-one support and local help ↗ Al-Anon Family Groups — 0800 0086 811, 10am–10pm every day Call Find an Al-Anon meeting ↗ Families of Alcohol Abuse — information, personal stories and community ↗If a relative has taken over caring for the child Grandparents and other relatives may suddenly become full-time carers.
If a child is living with a grandparent, aunt, uncle, sibling or family friend because a parent cannot care for them safely, the Kinship Care Advice Service for Scotland can help with practical, financial and legal questions.
Kinship Care Advice Service for Scotland — 08000 28 22 33 Call Kinship.scot — advice, benefits, local services and support groups ↗ Find local council children, families and out-of-hours contacts ↗Legal advice about a child Get advice if you are unsure about contact, residence, parental rights or social work decisions.
The Scottish Child Law Centre gives free confidential legal advice about Scots law relating to children and young people.
Scottish Child Law Centre — parents and carers: 0131 667 6333 Call Scottish Child Law Centre — children and young people: 0300 330 1421 Call Scottish Child Law Centre — free legal advice ↗