When someone’s drinking starts to affect your life, it can be hard to know what to do next. You may feel stuck between wanting to help, not wanting to make things worse, and not knowing where to begin.

There isn’t a single answer, but there are a few things that can help you take a first step.

1. Start by being honest with yourself
If something doesn’t feel right, it’s worth paying attention to that. You don’t need to wait for things to get worse before acknowledging that their drinking is affecting you.

2. You don’t have to figure everything out at once
It’s easy to feel like you need a plan or a solution. In reality, small steps are enough. Understanding what you’re dealing with and how it’s affecting you is a good place to start.

3. You cannot control their drinking
This is one of the hardest things to accept. You may have already tried talking, reasoning, or setting limits. While it’s natural to want to help, their drinking is not something you can control.

4. Pay attention to your own wellbeing
Situations like this can be exhausting. It’s easy to focus everything on them and forget about yourself. Looking after your own wellbeing is not selfish — it’s necessary.

5. Consider talking to someone who understands
You don’t have to handle this on your own. Whether it’s a support group like Al-Anon, a trusted person, or an online space, being able to talk openly can make a difference.

6. Take things one step at a time
You don’t need to solve everything today. Even recognising what’s happening and taking one small step forward is enough.

If this feels familiar, you may also find it helpful to read more about what you can and cannot control, or visit the community to hear from others who are going through something similar.